Mac Sleepy

I love music. I was raised up listening to all genres, due to the fact my father was a stoner who sold drugs. We’d always have different types of people coming around, white or black, of all types of backgrounds. He kept some Led Zeppelin or Jimi Hendrix or Gap Band, blasting out of big speakers that seemed to shake the whole house. I’m thankful for that experience and influence in my life, it’s served me well over the years. I’m able to talk with and relate to people with an open mind, I feel music played a major part in that. As I grew older I found myself gaining a love for rap music. I would get caught up in the beats, wordplay and subjects for hours it seemed. I could just imagine myself in the world they created with their words, as if I were looking at a beautifully painted picture. True art. However though, I didn’t grow up wanting to be a rapper, I wanted to be a D.J. I was amazed by how they would scratch records and how they were the one who controlled the show. To me they had the real power, to move the crowd. Later on in my life, after high school and after what would have been my college years during which I was heavily involved with street life, I began writing raps. It started out in all honesty as a way to relieve stress, an escape. I just needed an outlet and the fact I was a good freestyle rapper (rhyming off the top of my head, nothing memorized) really helped. Soon I start noticing that I was getting really good at writing, coming up with double rhymes and a few metaphors. I felt really good about and I would enjoy blowing my friends minds when we would have little freestyle sessions. But I still didn’t want to make rap a profession. The life I lead was reckless and dangerous, trying to be famous was not a goal for me. I didn’t want the attention it brought or the arrogance that came with being a rapper, although I was really good at rapping. I kept writing though, improving all the while. During that time I ended up getting reconnected with my cousin Carlos Black, who was recently released from STC a juvenile detention center in my city. He was younger than me, so he looked up to me. My other cousin Rodney & I would come to his hood, scoop him up & we would just ride out doing whatever it was that we did. Many nights we just kick back getting lifted and freestyle, and I would trip because he was really “Really” good. He would always tell me: “Cuz, you gotta get in the studio. You cold as hell with this rap shit, stop playing”. Funny thing is, I felt the same way about him. I started taking his words seriously though, because I figured this could really work. I would get hot and I could pass the torch to him, so he could take over. This became my goal. I hustled even harder in the streets, making connects with people who had pull with the music biz, writing even more and just visualizing this dream coming true. I could just taste it. During all of this however, life was still happening. We were still out here in these streets. I’m out here involved in all types of situations, doing things that I can’t speak on, that I will have to take to the grave. Both of us, all of us, still trapped. Like the saying “The ends, justify the means” we were still stuck in the “means”. Then on one Saturday afternoon I got a call that still unnerves me till this day, telling me to come to the hood Carlos just got shot in the head. I was crushed, I felt my heart stop beating as it fell to the bottom of my stomach. Never in my life have I felt a pain or hurt so deep. I’ve lost loved ones & friends before, seen death 1st hand & even almost got shot in the head myself, but his was on a whole different level. The same little cousin who looked up to me like a brother, who believed in me, hustled in these streets with me was gone. It took everything in me to call my other cousin Rodney and break the news to him. I’ll never forget that fateful day April 28, 2007. The rest of the year would be even more hectic, but I survived it. It used to be hard for me to talk about it, but I know he’s truly resting in peace now, so it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. I still had a mission to accomplish, not only for his memory, but for myself. I ended up linking with one of Carlos’ classmates named K.T. and he told me that he produced, rapped & recorded, so we locked in and got to work. I credit him for showing me how to work in the studio as a rapper, how to get them verses right and how to be patient. I dropped my first song called “Back Against The Wall” on a dark track to match the lyrics I spit. It was an instant classic in the hood. Everything became natural after that, before I knew it I was dropping song after song. Things were falling into place, but falling apart at the same time. After creative differences with producers’ production and when to release the material, we parted ways. All I had were unmixed songs that weren’t finished, so I decided to create a Myspace music page. I uploaded my songs to get some feedback which came back very positive, I actually start gaining fans and supporters. I kept writing, stay focused and attempted to make my own beats. With no help or assistance I downloaded a beat making program. It became an obsession to me, day and night I would be on the computer frustrated trying to figure it out. I never quit though, I kept praying, working and believing in myself. Soon I became good, then I became better than good. Here I am making melodies and creating drum patterns with no formal training. To this day, I still don’t know how to play an instrument. I ended up connecting back with my old producer, we reconciled and soon after I dropped “Awesome”. The song was written & produced entirely by myself, the feeling was amazing. My supporters loved it, so I recorded more songs. I compiled an 8 song EP entitled “It Iz What It Iz” produced entirely by myself. With all the money I had stacked up I paid for photo shoots, artwork, promotion and CD’s to be pressed up and passed out. I felt a real sense of accomplishment, because I set out and achieved my ultimate goal. A true blessing. What made it even better was the response and love I gained from my family, especially my cousin Rodney. He’s been there with me through all the dark days, through them nights we didn’t think we would be alive to see the sunrise. That really meant a lot to me. Since then I’ve dropped more music here and there to the praise and satisfaction of my supporters, but I’m still on the same tip as before I started. I’m not in it for the fame or to be called the best rapper alive. I do it for the art, for my love of music and for my little cousin who believed in me. One day I may take this rap thing further, but as for now I’m truly at peace. I’m grateful to be able to touch complete strangers, with this talent to create music.. “Some people rap because they have something to say, other’s rap because they just have to say something